Granted, he was 24, so he’s certainly entitled to a degree of hubris that is (mostly) reserved for the 20-somethings entering the workforce, but a quick visit to his profile assured me that not only would I not be competing with him for potential freelancing/consulting jobs, but that he is, in fact, a complete charlatan.

How and why do I make this claim?

Let me present the evidence.

The first thing that caught my eye was when he mentioned – and I quote verbatim – that he is a “Senior SEO Analyst that Tweet’s tips 3-5 times a day.”

If you’re reading this blog, it’s obvious that you’re brilliant enough to have caught what made my hair stand on end in that sentence. However, in case the coffee has yet to kick in, it should be noted that this “Senior SEO Analyst” made “Tweets” possessive.

Alright, alright. Nobody likes a grammar Nazi. (Well, save Grammar Girl – everyone loves her.) The point I am attempting to make here, however, is that a true Senior SEO Analyst would know the difference between Tweets and Tweet’s.

Trying to save him a bit of humiliation, I sent a direct message that simply said: There’s an error on your Twitter profile. In your bio, it should be “tweets” not “Tweet’s.” Colleague to colleague tip. Cheers!

His response: Thanks! Yeah i’m horrible at spelling haha lolz

Let’s all cringe together.

Companies and decision makers, do you honestly want someone optimizing your keywords that responds like this? Or can’t even spell “Tweets?”

Search engine optimization can be a fantastic added value to your website, but you can probably do it yourself. Google offers many free training programs/workshops to help beginners learn all there is to know about Google AdWords. This will take time, so if you’re in a rush to do a campaign (or you’re spending thousands of dollars) you probably want some help. But really, if you have the time and enjoying new skills, you should read up on AdWords. It’s not rocket science, trust me.

It seems that SEO “experts” and “digital marketing experts” are everywhere. Twitter is particularly infested by these folks. And some, fortunately, are very good! There are many reputable companies and individuals that would be great campaign managers for any SEO effort you may be interested in making. Unfortunately, however, there are many more of these self-proclaimed experts that create a terrible name for the rest of us and are frankly guilty of professional negligence.

Ah, the modern day snake oil salespeople!

So wrapping things up, what’s your best defense? Self-education. Mashable has a great resource that explains SEO and also provides current updates about SEO trends. Understanding what your keywords are is also important; see the previously mentioned Google links for more information.

First, I’m participating in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) and because I’m writing nearly 2000 words daily, the creative energy to also blog is severely lacking. On the upside, I’m writing a book, and it is going to be something fantastic that I will be quite proud of in the long run. Subject matter is still top secret, but think along the lines of Twilight.

What can I say? I’m a sucker for dark, weird romance.

Second, professionally, I’m smack dab in the middle of launching many new creative initiatives to drive Spring 2012 enrollment. We’re really throwing out a lot of new ideas – some hi-fi and some low-fi – and I’ll be detailing those complete with success (or needs improvement) measures once the campaigns are complete. Many lessons to be learned here, and that’s what Cheetos with Chopsticks is all about – innovation!

So, friends, for the time being, know that I’m thinking of you. Professional contacts, know that I’m out there on Twitter and Google+ (which FINALLY created brand pages – kudos, Google, even though it’s a little late.) so find me!

Til next time,
Kit

Dressing like this for Halloween is the modern day equivalent of blackface – it’s passe, not funny, and just … boring.

At least up the ante and dress like a slutty witch. (wink)

Here’s my question though – why?

This gets down to tablet philosophy.

Granted, I do own an Android tablet and always do a bit of an eye roll when I see development for Apple devices only, but as a marketer, I get it. Apple’s tablet devices currently outsell Android’s.

However, here’s my real question – why is a Facebook app even necessary? Are we *that* lazy?

Look at it this way – an app is basically a shortcut to content. Phone apps have always kind of compressed information into a more streamlined format – this made sense on smaller screens. Tablets, however, are larger screens. (Most are 9-10 inches.) So while they may not be quite as big as your laptop, they are notably larger than your phone.

On tablets, you can see images better, you can view full versions of web pages versus mobile versions, you can send emails faster, etc.

So why is an app for a popular website necessary? Why not just go to Facebook.com and view Facebook as web page? Isn’t that kind of why you got the tablet in the first place?

Does the iPad app design appeal to individuals more? If so, isn’t that more of an issue of poor user experience/user design than anything else? Or are we just that lazy?

Facebook has certainly responded to user demand with this one. But here’s my question – why did users demand this to begin with?

When a friend showed me this lovely find on Etsy, it was a no brainer. Piglet needs this – what girl dog doesn’t want jewelry?

Cast of "Ghosts and Graves" Tour

Saturday was a perfect autumn day. The red and gold leaves crunched and rustled in the front yard as a warm breeze blew through the Twin Cities. Because Duane had piles of homework to complete, I’d taken the opportunity to catch up on the (seemingly ongoing) housework that had fallen a bit to the wayside.

After nearly 6 – yes, seriously – loads of laundry, dusting, and cleaning out two closets, I was pooped. Duane was done with homework, and it was only 3 pm. We’d recently made an agreement to each plan one date activity per week, and I was feeling itchy to get out of the house. I hopped onto my trusty Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1 and started looking for local things to do in the Twin Cities – we are both huge fans of being tourists in our own town, and because we are still relatively new to the state and cities, the possibilities of new adventures are seemingly endless.

Exploring the Wabasha Street Caves had been high on both of our agendas since we moved here. A friend had gotten married in the caves, and we’d seen something about them in a documentary on History Channel/TLC. I took a look at their website, and discovered that they were offering a “Ghosts and Graves Tour” that evening. I quickly booked our spots.

We went to our standby restaurant, the 5-8 Club, which is not only the home of the Juicy Lucy, but also a mere few blocks from our house. After throwing back some delicious cheese curds and a couple of burgers, we were ready to go on our tour.

On the way from South Minneapolis to St. Paul, we kept seeing zombies. Seriously. Bleeding, messy hair, dark eyes, torn clothes zombies. Waiting for the bus. Walking down the street. Coming out of Starbucks with a venti caramel macchiato. Ah yes – the Zombie Pub Crawl was that night. We both chuckled – the zombies definitely added some flair to our spooky evening.

We arrived at the Wabasha Street Caves, and only had to wait about 15 minutes to board the bus. It was a NICE bus. A large tour bus, with comfy seats and foot rests, and a PA system inside so everyone could hear the tour guides clearly.

As we boarded, we met our tour guides – the lovely Yvette, a dead French maid complete with a noose around her neck and a fantastic French accent, and Mr. Doug Graves, a ghastly, deceased undertaker with a penchant for measuring the heights of guests to estimate how large our coffins would need to be. We knew we were in for a treat.

I’ll not spoil all the details or the stories in case you’d like to go yourself, but it was definitely worth the cost. We drove through dark areas of St. Paul at night, all with silly, creepy ghost stories attached. We also went to a historic cemetery, and armed with flashlights, walked around and learned about the folks buried there. Surprisingly, we also learned about many modern cemetery/burial traditions, and how many of our current funereal procedures originated in Victorian England.

My favorite grave story was about two teenagers, who, in 2001, broke into the mausoleum of Dr. Arthur Gillette, stole his skull, passed it around among friends, then buried it in Anoka, MN, out of guilt. It was a great story to hear in a cemetery.

Sadly, after only about 1.5 hours, our journey ended. We could have easily stayed on the tour for half an hour to an hour longer, as the guides were both quite entertaining, knowledgeable, and frankly, we were just having a great time for the cost.

We look forward to heading back to Wabasha soon and doing the Caves and Gangsters tours, as the Ghosts and Graves our didn’t go through the caves at all, sadly, and we really wanted to see them.

I wish I could give the artist credit by providing a link – sorry! I couldn’t find the original, and saw this one on Reddit.

Not to Apple, although I am incredibly loyal to Apple computers.

No, my loyalty lies with Android. I’ll say it – I’m a fandroid. Not a rabid, foaming at the mouth, can’t admit it when Google makes mistakes fandroid, but a big supporter of the platform nontheless. I felt that I needed to preface this post with that information, but I’ll also do my best to be fair(ish.)

Hardware

Lots of folks seem disappointed that today’s announcement by Apple that the next iPhone is a 4S and not a 5. Let’s talk about hardware, for a moment. On the outside, yes, this thing may look like like iPhone 4, which I personally find to be a very nice looking phone. It feels solid, it looks solid, and the screen is beautiful. Sure, it’s not a complete redesign, however, why mess with a good thing? The iPhone 4′s rounded corners and thin profile make it a great phone, and because it wasn’t released *that* long ago, there wasn’t a real need to completely reinvent the device.

Software

Alright, here’s where my real critique begins, because frankly, I’m not impressed.

Many of the “updates” found in iOS5 have been present in the Android OS for quite some time now, or were other Google inventions. I find this incredibly amusing, considering Apple’s legal entanglements with Samsung for “copying the iPad.”

Features in the new iOS5 include:

• Notification center
• iMessage
• Newsstand
• Reminders
• Twitter integration
• Camera updates
• iCloud (sharing music and photos with all of your iDevices)
• Safari updates (including tabbed browsing)
• Wireless updates
• Mail Formatting
• Cards
• GameCenter Updates
• WiFi synching